


good mournings

by Ffwydriad



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb Widogast Angst, Character Study, Drabble, Gen, Temporary Amnesia, coda to c2e105
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:26:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25762855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ffwydriad/pseuds/Ffwydriad
Summary: Bren - no, Caleb - wakes up happy.short little coda to c2e105
Comments: 2
Kudos: 88





	good mournings

Bren wakes up on a boat, inside the dome. He can still remember the wonderful meal from the night before, and he wakes up happy, surrounded by his friends, his family. 

Except, Bren doesn't wake up, does he, because his name is...his name is Caleb Widogast, yes, although he doesn't remember why he changed it. It's a good name, Caleb Widogast, and he thinks it fits him better, anyways, so it's Caleb who wakes up, happy, to look around to check that everyone else is there.

He doesn't remember anything else, though, and that's - he's good at remembering things. He remembers counting the minutes down into the night, and starting it this morning. He knows that memory is his thing, that he doesn't forget. So something must be wrong.

"I don't - something's, I'm - I'm a little bit off," he says. "In a good mood, though." And he is. Whatever is wrong can't be too bad, for him to wake up so pleasantly. It feels like a nicer morning than he's had in - well, he doesn't know that either.

"In a good mood?" Veth asks.

"Oh yeah then something's wrong," Beau says, the others muttering their chorus of agreement at how bad a sign that is. Jester, Caduceus, and Vilya play a quick game of boulder, parchment, shears, and he watches, not quite certain what is happening. He can't think of anything to be fixed.

"Hi Caleb," Jester says, moments after winning.

"What are we doing?" Caleb asks, turning to face her. He smiles. He likes Jester, of course he does, who couldn't.

"How are you doing today?" she asks him, smiling. Her hands are coated with green, crystalline dust.

"I am doing-" and that's when the wave of greater restoration hits him.

The first thing that hits him is the fear, as he feels the little crystal shards dig into his skin. It takes them a second, before they're absorbed as part of the spell, but he can feel them. It's achingly familiar, and it sends him spiraling into memories unlocked. For the next few seconds, he finds himself reliving a set of perfect memories, the ones that always seem to be replayed at the slightest triggering thought.

It settles. It settles, as he remembers, and he remembers what they're doing, why they're here, what did this to him, what they are about to face. He lets himself fall back into skin that he knows more closely and yet feels less fitting than it did but a few moments before.

But for a moment, just a moment, it had lingered, the person who had never existed in anything but dreams. He can feel the way it lingers, the slight edge around his heart of what it had felt like to be that person, the person who he could never be.

Maybe that's the piece that pushes him over the edge to cast the spell, with the confidence of a man who has never seen what his failures may wrought.

**Author's Note:**

> you know i'm back in the groove when i start posting angst response fics to the episode at like 4 in the morning. 
> 
> i'm at malaismere on tumblr and i'm trying to start posting shit again so feel free as always to hit me up!


End file.
